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Different
Breed of Cat |
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I
have provided the motivation and strategies for
the books but they do not reveal the "Real Glenda
Wilson". I provide "Different Breed of Cat" as a
more informal biography. It doesn't nearly
tell the worst of my journey, but does show how
far the Lord has brought me through operating the
principles of the material in this book.
Based on my background and family predispositions,
I should not be able to write books. It is
not me but Christ in me. When I did
not know how to do the things I do now, I went to
the One who did. I have no formal training in any
of the areas in which I function (writing,
speaking, art, website design, etc.). I just
yielded and allowed the Holy Spirit to teach me.
The last section of the book is entitled, "Learn
To Teach Yourself". It really means to
discipline yourself to focus on
tapping into the All-Knowing God -allowing Him to work
through you. |
MY STORY
-The
"Real Glenda Wilson" |
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The principles in this book are tried
and proven in my life. You have a direct connection to
the One who created all things -if He calls you to do
it, He will enable you. |
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DIFFERENT BREED
OF CAT
I used to wish I were more normal until I realized I
was using the wrong system to measure. "Normal, compared
to what?" I discovered God often uses me as sandpaper
-to develop patience in those who still think they are
the norm.
I always felt I was a "DIFFERENT BREED OF CAT";
I even have had people say so. Because my personality
and tendencies were so different from the rest of my
family, I sometimes wondered if they picked me up as a
STRAY. Have you ever felt that way? It seemed
that I had to fight and scratch to rise above the
oppression and poverty mentality in my bloodline.
I was the oldest of five children and felt like I was
born "grown up". We moved around a lot -sometimes
six or eight times during a school year. I knew how to
spell "stability" but never experienced it.
My dad worked hard to feed and clothes us. He did the
best he could with a third grade education.
And Your Point Is?
As a kid, I didn't know how to deal with the remarks
like,
"oh, look at
her clothes, shoes, where she lives, what they drive,
etc"? Thoughts went through my mind, "So, what's your
point? Why do you care? - It doesn't affect you! I can't
help it -I'm just a kid! I'll do better when I grow up"!
I had some major dental defects that were very
unbecoming and embarrassing for me. My family could not
afford to take me to the dentist/orthodontist. The
voices of criticism and "put-downs" weighed
heavily on me -for obvious reasons I seldom smiled. I
stuck out like "a sore thumb". I could not SEE
anything in my life that was good. I just wanted to
"FIT IN" somewhere.
Way Of Escape
I did not have many friends. I was very quiet, shy,
introspective, and self-sacrificing (for the wrong
reasons). I was very mature and responsible for my age
(because I had to be). I excelled academically -one of
the few things that brought a
"feeling of acceptance".
I began working outside our home when I was twelve.
Work was my escape; I could finally have decent clothes,
shoes and buy some things that my parents could not
provide. This made me "feel" a little better about
myself. I began to find acceptance and approval from my
employers because of my job performance. I could relate
to adults (outside the family) better than people my
age. I finally found my edge on life -my intellect
and performance. These turned into perfectionism
(overkill I might add)
You Will
Never Measure Up!
The message I kept getting was, "No matter what you do,
you will never measure up". Inwardly and unknowingly
resentment, confusion, unforgiveness, rejection, and
low-self esteem were taking root in my life. I had
adapted to everyone else's opinion of the right way to
do things. I was very passive. I had never heard of
assertiveness training or healthy boundaries. I went
along -after all, "I needed
to be accepted".
I found that my opinions,
creativity, and the "real me" was not important
-the real me was slowly fading away - I was covered up
with OPINIONS. In my attempt to gain acceptance and
approval, I lost me. I had done my best to adapt and
please others; it still wasn't good enough.
What Do You
Expect?
After years of being what others expected me to be, I
found myself alone. Just "me and who ever I was". I
began a search to find who I was -about 35 years late. I
had always been an extension of others… someone's
daughter or sister ….mother or wife. Who was I apart
from being something to someone? What am I expected to
be and do now? Although I had studied people,
their tendencies and motivations - I never purr’ceived
it as a way to accept myself. I had been too busy using
it to relate to others.
Get Serious
I was in denial about the bitterness and unforgiveness
in my heart. After I had been alone for a while, I began
to GET SERIOUS about re-discovering myself -I wasn't as
bad as they had said. I began to relax and be myself as
best as I knew how. Even as an adult, it was difficult
to set aside my personal conflicts in relationships long
enough to see that the Father was always in the midst of
the turmoil. Intellectually I knew God accepted me, but
could not seem to experience it. At an emotional level I
still battled with rejection. I was always dissatisfied
and frustrated. I was still confused -"why was I so
different". Why can't I be
more like "so and so'? Why am I so picky"?
I was
comparing myself to others -I still was not happy with
the way I was. " God seemed to be offended that I
thought that He made a mistake in the way He made me. He
also let me know in no uncertain terms that He was
offended that I was looking to myself instead of Him.
After scratching and digging through layers of judgments
and twisted perceptions I could finally begin to
discover my identity and pursue my destiny. I found that
some of the hurts I experienced resulted from my
perception. Some appeared deliberate but those people
were insecure and hurt too. I felt so fragmented; it
seemed that I had lost parts of me. (See dream,
Missing Pieces)
Hang Em" Lord!
God began to deal with me about forgiveness. I
thought, "Forgive"? I would like to see some of
these people hung up with a wet rope to dry". God can be
very persuasive. He gave me enough rope to almost hang
myself. It’s like He was saying, "when you are tired of
being sick and tired of the struggle, I will still be
here."
Freedom Is
Available
The revelation of "the freedom" available through
forgiveness finally hit me. He showed me forgiveness was
more for my benefit than the ones who had hurt me. Some
could care less if I ever forgave them - others never
knew they hurt me. I finally gave in and went through
the steps of releasing them, forgiving them, and asking
God to heal my hurts. I discovered that I had failed
others because I had been failed. I had to forgive
myself. Most of all, my willingness to forgive freed me!
My Discovery Zone
Discovering my personality and inborn tendencies gave
me a BREAKTHROUGH. It has helped me to view others and
myself in an entirely different light. I also understand
that some of the differences are the built-in strengths
necessary to reach my destiny. Now I can relax, thank
God for my strengths and ask Him to help with my
weaknesses. At least, I KNOW which ones are which. Now I
am able to accept and celebrate the differences of
others. I finally realize my children and friends are
not deliberately trying to get on my last nerve.
We are the members of a body -a body cannot function
with all eyes or all feet. We need one another. |
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Identity
& Relationship issues
